I used to regularly walk past a homeless man around the corner from where I live in Oxford and take virtually no notice of him. One day I stopped to speak to him. We subsequently developed a friendship based on our mutual interest in Aristotle's ethics and pepperoni pizza. This encounter taught me that having conversations with strangers opens up our empathic minds.
We can not only meet fascinating people but also challenge the assumptions and prejudices that we have about others based on their appearance, accents or backgrounds. It's about recovering the curiosity everyone had as children, but which society is so good at beating out of us. Get beyond superficial talk but beware interrogating people. Respect the advice of oral historian Studs Terkel - who always spoke to people on the bus on his daily commute: "Don't be an examiner, be the interested inquirer.
These are the kinds of conversations you will find happening at the world's first Empathy Museum , which is launching in the UK in late and will then be travelling to Australia and other countries. Amongst the unusual exhibitions will be a human library, where instead of borrowing a book you borrow a person for conversation - maybe a Sikh teenager, an unhappy investment banker or a gay father.
In other words, the kind of people you may not get to meet in everyday life. Empathy is the cornerstone of healthy human relationships. As the psychologist and inventor of emotional intelligence Daniel Goleman puts it, without empathy a person is "emotionally tone deaf". It's clear that with a little effort nearly everyone can put more of their empathic potential to use. So try slipping on your empathy shoes and make an adventure of looking at the world through the eyes of others.
Parts of the NHS have come under fire in recent years, with David Cameron among those calling for health professionals to show more compassion. But Tom Shakespeare asks if there are dangers in placing too much emphasis on empathy.
Everyone may experience low empathy at times. For example, it may be natural to have difficulty feeling and expressing empathy toward someone who has harmed us. There is some debate on whether a person is born with low empathy or if upbringing, social factors, or life experiences may hinder their ability to develop it, or even limit it. Genetics may also play a role. Among these conditions, levels of empathy can vary. Among individuals, levels can vary even more so. For example, research suggests that some people with BPD may have difficulty developing emotional empathy but may display cognitive empathy.
Machiavellianism a personality trait and NPD a mental health condition have long been associated with a lack of empathy. However, one study suggests that people with these traits and disorders actually have a certain degree of empathy — they just may lack the motivation to show or act on it.
Additionally, autistic people can sometimes have difficulties with cognitive empathy. However, they may develop emotional empathy but face challenges with expressing it. A study suggests that possible low empathy among autistic people is not related directly to the causes of autism but rather to the co-occurrence of alexithymia.
Also, if you were alone much of the time, you may not have had the opportunity to practice empathy. This, too, can lead to a reduction of empathetic expression. Emotional intelligence may be linked to empathy.
In some cases, emotional avoidance may also be a reason why someone may not develop or practice empathy. In general, research also shows that some people may not develop compassionate empathy because of its perceived costs, like mental effort, time, and emotional weight.
You could also work on being more observant of body language. This may also include focusing on nonverbal cues like tone of voice and change in habits. Working on recognizing your own emotions may help you connect with other people. Not everyone will recognize how they feel at all times or why they act in a certain way.
There are many types and levels of empathy. How much empathy you have depends on many factors, and may vary according to the situation. Empathy is something you can develop, and it starts with awareness. Many people believe that autistic people lack empathy, but it's time to retire this myth. Loving someone who hurts you can be confusing.
Though everyone is different, there are a few reasons why you may still love an abusive partner. Childhood experiences may lay the groundwork for how we experience adult relationships and how we bond with people. Here's how trauma may impact you…. The situation optimally includes a positive response to the appropriate expression of empathy.
The model might sometimes fail to show empathy and subsequently demonstrate a better response. The third step is practice at showing empathy. This might occur live with the trainer or online in response to written or audio comments or actions of another person. The practice would include, when possible, showing empathy in real situations outside training sessions.
The last step involves constructive feedback on attempts to show empathy. The feedback typically includes praise when the person has reacted appropriately. It might also include information about how better to assess the emotion of another person or respond to the emotion.
A student and I recently completed a meta-analysis that pulled together 18 studies on the effects of empathy training. Our results indicated formal training can increase empathy. The studies measured empathy in various ways, but many used test measures. These present situations and then ask: what would you say to the person?
Some studies asked for self-reports of empathy in everyday life. No matter which measure was used, the training tended to have a positive effect. The findings of the studies we surveyed had limitations, though.
The trainees who showed significant improvements were mainly health professionals or university students. And studies usually followed participants for periods of a few weeks at most. So we do not know for sure whether we can increase empathy in ordinary people through formal training. We also do not know whether it is possible to help anyone make a long-term gain in empathy.
Some people might be challenging to teach, either because they lack motivation to increase empathy or because they find it difficult to imagine how others feel. Sex offenders , for instance, could be hard to help, as could autistic individuals. Adults can increase their empathy outside formal training. They can start by looking for signs others are experiencing an emotion.
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